


If You Write It, They Will Cum

by CrowleyLovesUSUK



Series: Crowley Makes You Sin [10]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Characters Writing Fanfiction, Destiel - Freeform, Explicit Language, Frottage, Gabriel Being Gabriel (Supernatural), Gabriel Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, M/M, Making Out, Matchmakers Gabriel and Sam Winchester, Mentions of other Supernatural Characters - Freeform, Oral Sex, Pining, Sabriel - Freeform, Sam Winchester Needs Brain Bleach, Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Spoilers for Empire Strikes Back (Star Wars)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-01-24 22:34:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21345850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrowleyLovesUSUK/pseuds/CrowleyLovesUSUK
Summary: Sam has been doing his best in an attempt to cheer Gabriel up after his experience in Hell.  However, due to their vastly different senses of humor, the task is much harder than Sam imagined.  Nothing seems to be working; until one day, when Sam inadvertently stumbles across some fan fiction of Chuck’s books.  Specifically, stories involving Dean and a certain trench coat wearing angel.  When Sam admits to Gabriel what he’d read, the archangel manages a smile, for the first time in years.  The two of them begin reading fic together and Gabriel is soon transformed back into the playful creature that Sam originally fell for all those years ago.  What Sam didn’t count on, was Gabriel’s penchant for meddling and pranks.  Soon enough, what began as (not so) innocent fun has Sam witnessing moments between his brother and Cas that he’d hoped he would never have to see first hand.  Thanks, Gabe...
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Gabriel/Sam Winchester
Series: Crowley Makes You Sin [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1029626
Comments: 35
Kudos: 181





	If You Write It, They Will Cum

**Author's Note:**

> *Huge Thanks to BuLlEtNiPpLeS for beta-ing this for me!!
> 
> *Canon-divergent from 13.18 "Bring 'em Back Alive." Gabe still kills Asmodeus and heals himself, but he's not at full power. Also (and this is the big part) instead of his usual gig of flapping off to parts unknown, Gabriel decides to stay in the Bunker.  
*There is sexy stuff in this, but it isn't graphic.  
*There is swearing in this fic.  
*This is told from Sam's POV and he and Gabriel are the main characters in the story, although, Destiel plays a massive part in this fic.  
*I don’t own Supernatural or any of its characters—I also don’t own Star Wars. I’m just out here trying to have a good time.

The moment that Gabriel had finally spoken, relief flooded through Sam’s entire body. He didn’t even care that all the battered archangel had said was, “Porn Stars.” Sam refused to confront the fact that thinking of Gabriel in bed with someone else felt like his soul was ripping out of him once again. He didn’t have time to nurse his pathetic broken heart when the object of his affections needed help. Sam firmly pushed Gabe’s first words since Ketch’s rescue out of his mind, and focused on the good part. The fact that Gabriel had opened his lips and finally fucking said something, was enough to make Sam unconsciously send up a prayer of thanks at having Gabriel back.

Of course, the damaged angel wasn’t fully himself just yet. There were no sly looks, smirking taunts, and there were definitely no pranks. It didn’t feel right, and soon enough, Sam was wishing that he could find something—anything—that would make Gabriel’s amber eyes light up the way they used to.

When the Bunker was breached and the demon himself came for Gabriel, Sam had finally allowed himself to panic. To his immense surprise and relief, the archangel managed to recover himself in time to save the day. Talk about a deux ex machina. There was a split second in the aftermath when Sam had been certain that Gabe would fall back on his old ways and pull a runner. He could see it in the angel’s eyes; just lurking under the surface was the desire—the need—to take off at full speed.

He’d been ready to split. It was obvious. But Sam tried one more time. “No, Gabriel! Please,” his voice fell.

There must have been something in his tone, because Gabriel stilled and their eyes met. “Sam,” Gabe almost sounded pleading. “I can’t.”

Grasping with both hands at the small opening he’d been given, Sam proceeded to do something he never thought he would: Beg. Whatever he’d said had gotten through and Gabriel agreed to stay for a week, since he was still low on grace and needed a place to lie low.

That was almost a month and a half ago. Even after Gabriel seemed mostly recharged, he kept making excuses to stay. He hung around the bunker, used the kitchen to bake, and helped patch them up after a hunt. Mostly though, he followed Sam around, which made the hunter’s stomach do flips.

As the days went by, Sam felt as though he and Gabriel were growing closer. They might even be considered friends, which was more than Sam had ever even hoped for in the first place. However, the archangel just wasn’t his usual self. Sam couldn’t blame him—anyone would change after the years of torment and abuse like Gabriel had went through. But it didn’t sit right with the hunter. He missed the playful creature that he’d met all those years ago. The one who doled out justice with flair and laughed himself silly at the most juvenile of pranks. The thought that Gabriel had been so fundamentally changed made something painful twist inside of Sam, and he vowed that he would do whatever he could to make the archangel smile.

Unfortunately, Sam wasn’t quite sure how to go about doing it. His sense of humor was slightly different than Gabriel’s, and he wanted this to work more than anything. He started small, having some help from Cas, who would snap up a whoopie cushion or a pile of water balloons over a doorway. Silly, harmless, pranks that Sam was sure would at least bring a smile to Gabe’s face.

At the most, he’d get a hint of curve on the angel’s lips—it wasn’t enough. After a week, Sam was running out of ideas. Cas was no help with the creative side, and he couldn’t ask Dean since his brother was usually the victim of said pranks. Sam was starting to wonder if anything would cheer Gabriel up.

The thing that finally worked, was a complete accident. Sam hadn’t even thought to mention anything—mostly because he wanted to forget all about it himself. He was sitting in the library, laptop open, as he tried to do some research for a hunt that Dean had found, when he saw it.

Dean was pretty sure they were hunting a wendigo, and Sam wanted to brush up on some lore. When he typed into the search engine, he was shocked to find that one of the top hits was the second book in Chuck’s horrible series. Someone had uploaded the damn things to the internet, just as Charlie had warned them. Sam pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned.

Across the table from him, Gabriel looked up from one of the vintage porn magazines that kept popping up all over the Bunker. “What’s up, kiddo?”

“Nothing,” Sam was quick to respond. There was a beat where Gabriel just watched him before he shrugged and turned back to the lovely ladies of Busty Asian Beauties.

Sam scrolled down the page and saw another link dealing with Chuck’s ‘Supernatural’ series. Against his better judgement, he clicked on it and began to read. It seemed to be part of the series, but Sam didn’t recognize anything. He and Dean were hunting a wendigo, but it was in Canada, not Colorado. Sam was busy trying to figure out how they would have crossed the border without decent passports when something happened on the page that he knew wasn’t real.

Back in the hotel room, fictional Sam had left to grab food, while Dean and Cas were leaning in toward one another. Closing the distance between their lips and—what? It only took a few paragraphs before he was blushing at the words swimming across the screen. “Oh my god!”

Gabe peeked up at him again. “You okay?”

“I’m pretty sure that I’ll never be okay again.”

He got a quirked eyebrow for that and a questioning look. “That sounds promising. Do tell.”

Sam was going to brush it off. He didn’t want to talk about the Supernatural books, or...fanfiction. But Gabriel was looking at him and he seemed more interested than he had about anything so far since his return. Despite his reservations, Sam did want the archangel to engage again. To smile. Maybe hearing about the weird sex stuff that people seemed to write about him and Dean would get a chuckle. All he really had to lose, was his dignity.

“Right,” Sam raked a hand over his face and leaned back in the chair. “So. Did you know that Chuck posed as a prophet and wrote a book series about me and Dean?”

Gabriel scrunched up his nose and nodded. “The Winchester Gospels, yeah?”

Sam nodded. “Okay, so get this. A few years ago, we caught a case in Flint, Michigan at an all-girl’s school called Saint Alphonso’s Academy.”

“Like Saint Alphonsus? Patron Saint of confessors?”

“Uh, yeah,” Sam replied. “Long story short, these girls were fans of the books and they wrote their own musical based off of them.”

Gabriel stared. The silence stretched out to be almost uncomfortable before the archangel finally spoke. “So you had to watch a bunch of girls in wigs pretend to be you and sing songs about your actual life?”

“Yup.”

“Awkward.”

“You have no idea.” Sam snorted and attempted a smile. “Apparently it’s a thing. People are fans of books or movies, and they write those characters into their own stories.”

“Fan fiction,” Gabriel supplied.

“Right,” Sam said. “You know about that?”

“Sammy, fan fiction is about ninety percent porn. Of course I know about it.”

“Okay, yeah that makes sense.”

“You’re trying to tell me that people have written fan fiction about the Winchester Gospels?” For the first time in years, Gabriel’s eyes twinkled. When Sam nodded slowly, Gabriel closed the magazine and gave him an unreadable look. “Oh, that’s brilliant, kiddo.”

“What? No it’s not!”

“Yes, it is!” Gabe almost smiled at that. “Is that what you were reading? You found porny fan fiction about yourself?”

Sam ducked his head, trying to hide the blush. “No,” he said. “I found pornographic fan fiction about Dean,” he clarified before looking up and meeting Gabe’s eyes. “And Cas.”

It took a second for Gabriel’s eyes to go wide. He seemed to be searching Sam’s face for something before his lips cracked into an ear-splitting grin. The sight made Sam’s heart speed up. “Oh, that’s fucking amazing!”

“Not for me,” Sam shuddered. “I don’t want to read about that.”

“No,” Gabriel actually let out a short laugh. “But that’s fantastic! Let me read one,” the archangel begged. “Come on.” He reached out and made little grabby hands for Sam’s computer.

Rolling his eyes, Sam gave in. Even if he found it gross, he would do anything to keep that look on his angel’s face. His angel? Shit. He couldn’t afford to think of Gabriel as his. “Fine,” he sighed and turned the laptop toward Gabe. “Just don’t tell me about it—I don’t want to know.”

“Yes you do,” Gabriel waved a hand and began typing. “Okay, what kind of stuff do we want to look for?”

“I don’t want to look for anything involving my brother getting laid!”

Gabe snorted. “Just pretend it isn’t Dean.”

“I don’t really want to think about Cas either,” Sam stood up and moved around the table to take a seat next to the archangel. “Isn’t that weird for you? He’s your brother.”

Gabriel hit a few keys and the page refreshed. “Angels think of siblings differently than humans,” he said carelessly. “It isn’t weird for me to think about Cassie that way because of our relationship. It’s more weird simply because Cas is...Cas. You know?”

“Strangely enough, yeah I do,” Sam acquiesced. Castiel didn’t really seem very sexual to him. Nothing wrong with that—it was just the way that the angel was built.

He watched Gabriel poke around at the computer for a while before the angel snickered. “They’re called ‘Destiel,’” he announced.

“Yeah, I know,” Sam nodded. “That’s what those teenage girls said. They combined their name, like people do with celebrities.”

“I doubt it matters who the first part of the name would be,” Gabriel mused. “Like whoever was first is the top? Cause we all know that Dean-o would be a total needy bottom.”

Sam groaned. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

“Which would you be, kiddo?” Gabriel hummed lewdly and eyed Sam.

“Stop.”

“I guess I’ll just have to find out for myself,” Gabriel shrugged and turned back to the laptop, completely unaware that next to him, Sam was blushing and fighting down a sudden boner.

He could hear his brain screaming, ‘Yes! Please! I want!’ and he wiggled around in his chair as subtly as he could. This had the potential to be the worst idea in all of creation. Sam closed his eyes and tried to take a few calming breaths. There was no way that he could live with himself if he was forced to read porn about his brother while he, himself was hard. Thankfully, the very idea was enough to get rid of his rather large problem and he managed to swallow the lump in his throat and turn his attention back to the angel at his side.

Gabriel clicked on something and a short story pulled up. “Okay, we’re going to start off slow. This one says it’s not explicit and that it’s ‘fluffy.’”

“Whatever that means,” Sam tried to subtly scoot his chair closer to Gabriel. He didn’t want to read this crap, but it was making Gabe smile and honestly, Sam would do anything for the little angel. He would just have to grit his teeth and take Gabe’s advice to pretend he was reading about other people. The things he went through for Gabriel.

“You gotta learn the lingo, Samsquatch,” Gabriel chided. “Fluff is like, all the gooey, cute, bullshit, that couples do. Like cuddling.”

Taking his cue off of the angel’s tone, Sam raised a brow. “You don’t like cuddling?”

“I’m basically the most dangerous being on this stupid rock,” Gabe said. “Not really built for snuggly shit.”

Sam shrugged and tried to keep his face neutral. “That’s a shame.”

Gabe quirked a brow at him and his amber eyes raked over Sam’s entire body. “I could probably be persuaded with the right motivation,” he said.

Sam visibly gulped and turned back to the computer, blinking awkwardly. “That’s not...um...I just,” he trailed off and could feel the heat of his cheeks.

“Don’t hurt yourself, kiddo,” Gabe snorted. He looked away and began to read.

Sam tried to focus on the words swimming across the screen. After a few minutes he managed to piece together a sentence. It wasn’t long before both men were speed-reading through the story about Dean and Castiel decorating holiday cookies and getting into a frosting war.

Gabe huffed and leaned back, his arms crossed over his chest. “Well, that’s stupid,” he said.

“Yeah, that’s not really something that either of them would do,” Sam agreed as he reached the part where Dean offered to kiss buttercream off of Cas’ lips. “Honestly, that’s something I could see you doing,” Sam said his eyes to the angel at his side. “But not Dean.”

“I would absolutely lick frosting off of someone I was fucking,” Gabriel said. He sat up straighter and his face lit up. “Do we have frosting here?”

“No,” Sam looked wary. “Why?”

“No reason,” Gabe settled back into his chair. He snapped his fingers and a large mixing bowl appeared, full of thick frosting and a large spoon. “Perfect.”

Sam watched the archangel dig right in to the sugary topping before he began to scroll down the page. There was a box at the bottom for comments, and before Sam could blink, Gabriel was typing away and telling the author that Dean and Cas would never act that way.

“What does OOC mean?” Sam asked.

“‘Out of Character,’” Gabe muttered. “What should our screen name be?”

“What?” Sam looked at the computer and saw that Gabriel had entered one of Sam’s email addresses and was tapping his finger against the table, his face screwed up in thought. “Why are you using my email?”

“You have to enter one, and I don’t like clogging up mine with spam,” Gabriel said absently. “Oooh!” Gabe crowed. “I got it.” He began typing with a huge grin.

Sam was so mesmerized by Gabriel’s smile that he failed to notice what the sneaky little angel was writing. When he finally glanced at the screen, his mouth fell open and he gasped. “TrickstersMoose83,” Sam hissed. “What the hell? No way!”

“Too late,” Gabriel chuckled as he pressed the submit button. “You’re my moose now.”

“Oh my god,” Sam groaned. Part of him was embarrassed, while the rest of him felt like skipping and cheering loudly. “You’re a dick.”

“You just figured that out?” Gabe clicked his tongue. “It’s been a decade, kiddo—I would have hoped you realized that a few years ago.” Sam groaned. “Relax,” Gabe said. His tone was brighter than it had been since his return. “No one is going to find out.”

“They better not,” Sam warned as he watched Gabriel open a different story. This one was tagged as having a more mature theme and Sam was apprehensive. He watched Gabe read and after the archangel let loose a few giggles, Sam turned to the screen and joined in.

This one had Castiel owning a coffee shop and Dean was a mechanic in the garage across the street. They would flirt each morning over the counter but neither made a move until the third chapter when Cas pulled Dean into the broom closet and gave him a blowjob. Sam fought back a gag before he remembered Gabe’s advice to pretend Dean wasn’t Dean. He decided to mentally replace his brother’s name with something else. Something that wouldn’t make him want to barf.

As he read, Sam just inserted the first name he thought of into the story. Doug was a generic name, and Sam was pretty sure he’d never met a Doug. Once he got back into the narrative, he managed to read all about the sloppy blowie in the storage closet of the coffee shop, and he had to admit that the author had made it rather detailed. Just as the ‘Doug’ character blew his load, Gabe piped up next to him, “I know what you’re doing.”

Sam furrowed his brow. “What?”

“Replacing their names?” Gabriel smirked and he almost looked like himself again. “As much as I love Doug and Carl,” he laughed, “you do know a Doug. Two of them to be precise.”

Sam thought back and tried to put a face to a name, but he came up blank. “Let me give you a hint,” Gabe chuckled. “Sheriff Donna?”

It hit him like a train. Donna’s exes. Ex-husband, Doug the Douche and her ex-boyfriend, the much nicer Deputy Doug who’d been a vampire for a hot minute. Shit. “You knew a Carl too, hotshot,” Gabe added. “Hellhounds? The Trials? A ranch in Idaho?”

“Ah, fuck,” Sam groaned. He remembered now. Carl Granville. The happy--but homely--guy who sold his soul to marry the daughter of a rich rancher. He got killed by Crowley’s Hellhound while Sam and Dean were trying to begin closing the Gates of Hell.

Now he was picturing Doug Stover getting blown by Carl Granville, and Sam gagged a little. “Thanks, Gabe,” he glared. “I hate you.”

“You love me,” Gabriel smiled happily and turned back to the screen. “Just replace one of them with you and someone you think is hot,” Gabe suggested. “It isn’t hard...yet.”

“You suck,” Sam said before he could stop himself. He quickly pointed a finger at Gabriel and said, “Not a word.”

Gabe mimed zipping his lips and throwing away the key. The childish action warmed Sam’s heart because he couldn’t remember the last time the angel had joked around with anyone. Maybe this had been a stroke of genius. If reading about their respective brothers getting down and dirty made Gabe laugh, then Sam could absolutely suck it up and indulge.

He allowed his eyes to linger on Gabriel’s lips as the archangel put another spoonful of frosting into his mouth, and Sam shook his head fondly. They continued on with Gabe choosing all of the stories—which got progressively kinkier as the morning flew by. Sam managed to suppress his gag reflex by taking Gabriel’s advice and inserted himself into the erotic scenes. And if he happened to replace Cas with Gabriel, then no one had to know except him.

They had made their way through a series of stories involving something called ‘Wing Kink,’ that had Sam shifting in his chair, imaging what Gabe’s feathers would feel like in his own fists. The archangel was staying much more composed, but his eyes were lit with a fire that sent shivers down Sam’s spine when their eyes met.

“What do you say to switching things up, kiddo?” Gabriel’s pupils were dark as he raked his gaze down Sam’s chest. “Maybe a little BDSM? We could find some fics with spanking in them?”

Sam’s throat was dry and all he could do was nod. He received a blinding grin for his effort and Gabriel began a quick search. There was a ridiculous amount of results when the page reloaded and Sam briefly worried about possible embarrassment. The last thing he needed was to pop a boner in the library while reading porn stories about his brother, and sitting next to the angel that Sam was pretty sure he was in love with. He blinked and tried to refocus.

Just as Gabriel clicked on another story, Sam’s email alert sounded. “Hey, pull that up for a second,” he requested, pointing toward the screen.

The email was a reply to their earlier comment on the first story they had read. The author didn’t seem too pleased with their assessment of Dean and Cas in the fic, and had written a full paragraph telling them off. Gabriel was chuckling to himself as he scanned the response. The very last sentence had the archangel looking delighted and Sam shaking his head, eyes wide.

_‘If you think you’re so good then just write it yourself!’_

“No,” Sam said firmly, knowing exactly what Gabriel was thinking.

“Yes!”

“No way!”

“It’ll be fun.”

“Absolutely not.”

Gabriel stuck out his plump lower lip and pouted cutely. Sam could feel his resolve cracking as he looked at the puppy eyes of Heaven’s Greatest Weapon. Now he knew why Dean bitched so much when Sam used the same tactic. “Please, kiddo,” Gabriel made an exaggerated whine.

Sam closed his eyes and sucked in a breath. He was going to regret this. “Fine,” he managed. “But nothing graphic.”

“Maybe a little graphic.”

“No. They can hold hands or something.”

Gabe hit him with the pout again. Those pink lips quivering ever so slightly. “Quickie with clothes on?”

“Cuddling.”

“Blowjobs?”

“Kissing.”

Gabriel paused just long enough that when he said, “And handjobs,” Sam didn’t register the words. He just instinctively responded, “Fine,” which made Gabe laugh and immediately begin to make them an official account.

“No wait,” Sam gasped when he realized what he had agreed to.

“Too late, Sammy,” Gabe cackled. “Don’t worry,” the archangel pulled up the tab to create and grinned ferally at Sam. “We’ll start slow. Trust me, this is gonna be fun.”

Sam closed his eyes and hoped that he wouldn’t end up scarred.

Thankfully, their first attempt was rather tame, for which Sam was eternally grateful. Between the two of them, by the time dinner rolled around, they had banged out a decent short fic about Dean and Castiel on a hunt. They had written a little scene in a diner where the two were discussing the case, but Dean slipped up and called Cas ‘Babe’ instead of ‘Buddy.’

As weirded out as Sam was, he had to admit that it wasn’t bad. The Dean and Cas in their fic read exactly how the two men were in reality. The perks of actually being Sam and Gabriel meant that they knew their brothers pretty damn well. They each gave it a cursory glance for spelling and grammar and Gabriel posted it under their (horrible) pseudonym ‘TrickstersMoose83.’

“And now, we wait,” Gabriel smirked as he closed Sam’s laptop and bounced up to his feet. He held out his hand to Sam, and the hunter barely hesitated before accepting the contact.

They made their way into the Bunker’s kitchen where Dean was just finishing up frying burger patties in a large cast iron skillet full of butter. Sam wrinkled his nose and was about to comment on the heart-attacks they would all probably end up having when Gabe spoke up. “Smells great, Dean-o!”

Both Dean and Cas turned to look at him with surprise. Angels didn’t need to eat, but Gabriel had always enjoyed it in the past. However, his appetite hadn’t been the greatest as of late, and it was a relief for all of them to have Gabe even comment on their meal. “You want some?” Dean asked, his voice almost wary, as though he might spook the damaged angel.

“Absolutely,” Gabe plopped down at the table. “I worked up an appetite today. For all sorts of things.” He winked at Sam, causing the hunter to choke on air as he took the seat next to Gabriel.

Dean looked at them both with suspicion, but thankfully didn’t press. He served up the burgers and they all dug in. Sam was surprised to see that Castiel was partaking in the food; but then, the seraph seemed to do anything he could to please Dean. It was endearing, if borderline creepy.

The Winchesters kept the conversation going for the most part, discussing their ideas for retrieving Jack and their mom, which was taking much longer than they had expected. They were tossing out ideas, munching on the dripping burgers when Cas spoke up. “Dean,” he said gravely.

“Yeah,” Dean swallowed and started at the angel. “What is it, Babe?”

Everyone froze.

Sam blinked in shock, as Castiel tilted his head and silently stared at Dean. Gabe had stilled with his burger halfway to his mouth and a huge dollop of marshmallow fluff slipped from between the buns, plopping loudly on the plate in front of him. No one spoke as Dean’s face got comically redder by the second. Without a word, Dean pushed his chair back with a scrape and stormed out of the room.

There was a drawn out, uncomfortable beat before Cas simply said, “That was odd.”

Sam turned to his friend, his nose wrinkled. “You think?”

Gabriel made no comment. He took a huge bite of his burger and smirked as he chewed. Sam was afraid to ask what was going through the archangel’s mind, and wisely finished his own meal in silence.

Cas left soon after, off to who-knows-where, leaving Sam and Gabriel to clean up. Before Sam could even clear the table, Gabe had snapped his fingers and the kitchen was sparkling clean once again. Turning to the shorter man, Sam asked, “What the hell was that about?”

Nonchalantly shrugging, Gabriel said, “I don’t know,” and walked away.

Curiously, Sam trailed after him, eyeing the back of Gabe’s golden head. “It’s pretty weird that we just wrote something like that happening, and then it did,” Sam pointed out as they reached the library once again.

He watched the angel settle into his usual seat and flip open the computer once more. “Coincidence,” Gabe smiled innocently.

Sam narrowed his eyes and huffed, but he took the seat next to Gabriel, brushing their knees together. He watched Gabe open up the website to begin a new post. “I have a great idea for another one,” Gabriel said.

“One was enough,” Sam tried.

A disbelieving sound escaped Gabriel’s lips and he snorted. “No way,” he said as he began to type.

It wasn’t long before Sam found himself sucked in once again. Gabriel’s enthusiasm was infectious and honestly, it was pretty funny. Sam decided that after years of watching Cas and Dean longingly stare at each other, that he deserved to have some fun at their expense. Besides, it’s not as though either of them would ever find out about any of this. “No way, you totally need to have Dean be the one who trips into Castiel’s arms,” Sam insisted.

“You’re right,” Gabriel said, as he erased the last few sentences. “Cassie would just right himself with grace or his wings.”

“And we should move the whole thing with the pie so that it can close out the ending of the story.”

“That makes sense,” Gabriel hummed. “It opens with Dean wanting pie and ends with Cas giving him one. I like it.” He grinned at Sam. “You’re not bad at this writing thing, kiddo. Maybe you should give up hunting and become a romance novelist.”

“I don’t fucking think so, Gabe,” Sam laughed.

He watched fondly as Gabriel turned back to the computer and clicked away at the keys for a few minutes. Finally, the archangel sat back with a satisfied look and uploaded their story to the web. “Done,” Gabriel said happily.

Sam knew that he shouldn’t call attention to it, but his brain wasn’t on board, and the words just came tumbling out of his mouth. “I really like it when you smile.”

The look that Gabriel gave him, softened the normally hard edges of the angel’s face. The atmosphere shifted and for a brief moment, Sam wondered if perhaps Gabe felt the same way toward him. “I’ll try to do it more often then,” Gabriel said finally. He abruptly hopped to his feet and held out a hand for Sam. “Come on, it’s late. I’m sure you’d like to get your four hours.”

Gabriel pulled him to his feet and when he didn’t let go of Sam’s hand, the hunter had to admit how amazing it felt with even such simple contact. He allowed Gabe to lead him down the hall toward his room, smiling softly at the little angel tugging at his fingers.

“Hey, Sammy. Gabe.” Dean’s voice broke through the silence, prompting Gabriel to release Sam’s hand as though burned before Dean noticed. He was looking at the archangel, but rubbing at his eyes, so Sam was hopeful that his brother hadn’t registered the hand holding. “I’m really having a craving,” Dean was saying to Gabriel. “Do you think you could snap me up an apple pie?”

There was a beat before Gabriel shook his head. “Sorry, Dean-o. My power source is a little tapped out right now. Maybe tomorrow.”

“Yeah, okay.” Dean mumbled and turned away, shutting himself back into his bedroom.

As they walked the few feet to Sam’s room, he narrowed his eyes quizzically at the angel. “You’re not low on grace,” he accused.

The look that Gabriel gave him was pure Trickster. “Nope. But if Dean wants a pie, he can ask his angel to snap one up for him.”

Sam snorted. “There is no way he is going to face Cas for at least a week after that whole ‘Babe’ thing.”

Gabriel shrugged. “Then I guess he doesn’t get any pie.”

“That’s weird, right?” Sam asked. “That we wrote a story about pie and ten minutes later, Dean’s got a craving?”

“Nah,” Gabe waved him off. “Your brother always wants pie.”

Sam hummed. “Yeah, I guess.”

They were hovering in front of Sam’s door, both of them shifting their weight, eyes locked. Finally Gabe took a step back and let out a breath. “‘Night, kiddo.”

“Goodnight, Gabe.”

It took Sam a very long time to fall asleep that night. Which was why, when he woke up the next morning he was sleep rumpled and slightly grouchy. He went through his morning routine quickly, opting to wear some comfy flannel pants and an old Stanford t-shirt as he padded down the hall to the kitchen. No one was present, but the coffee pot was full and hot, which was really all that Sam cared about. He wandered through the Bunker with a steaming mug looking for the others. As he entered The War Room, he was surprised to find Gabe and Castiel standing near the table conversing quietly. Both angels fell silent as he walked closer.

“Hello Sam.”

“Hey, kiddo. How’d you sleep?”

“Fine,” Sam said. He didn’t want to get into the fact that he’d tossed and turned until he’d fallen into a sex dream about Gabriel that had required him to change his sheets. “Where’s Dean?”

With perfect timing, the main door to the Bunker slammed and Dean came walking in. He rested his hand on the balcony, trailing the fingers as he began to descend the stairs. “Morning,” Dean said gruffly.

Gabriel and Sam responded, but Cas stayed quiet, moving to stand at the bottom of the stairs. Dean had four more steps to go when he met Castiel’s eyes and stumbled. He tripped over his own feet and tumbled down the remaining stairs, slamming into the angel with enough force to knock both men to the floor.

In an attempt to catch his favorite human, Cas had wrapped his arms around Dean’s waist as the went down. They landed hard, both of them grunting as they hit the ground. Dean was on top, his body nestled between Cas’ thighs, their cheeks brushing.

Sam’s jaw dropped at the sight and he stepped close to Gabriel’s side. He could actually feel the small angel’s body shake as he attempted to control his laughter. Staring at his brother, Sam watched awkwardly as Dean lifted his head and accidentally brushed his lips against Cas’ pink pout.

Both hunter and angel seemed frozen at the contact as time stretched. In the blink of an eye, Dean began to stammer and flush a deep red, pushing off of Castiel’s chest and jumping to his feet. He was twitchy, and obviously embarrassed, which only made Gabriel let out a soft snicker.

Slowly Cas stood and brushed off his trench coat, his serious gaze locked onto his human. “Dean,” the angel’s deep voice was laced with concern. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine Cas!” Dean shouted. He turned and started to rush away, though he did so with a small limp.

“You’re hurt,” Cas followed after him, trying to press his fingers to Dean’s forehead.

“I’m fine!”

“No, Dean. Let me touch you.”

“Cas!”

The sounds of a concerned angel and a horrified hunter faded as the two moved off into the Bunker leaving Sam and Gabriel alone once more. Once they could no longer hear their brothers, Gabe finally broke, snorting loudly as he doubled over.

“Okay, what’s going on?” Sam demanded. He waited while Gabriel waved his hands and seemed to choke on air as he laughed even harder. Glancing back to the door to make sure they were still alone, Sam took care to lower his voice, just in case. “We fucking wrote that.” Gabe flew into another round of giggles. Sam slumped for a moment until Gabe seemed to regain control of himself with a small hiccup. “Yesterday, you and I wrote that story about Dean tripping into Cas and them almost kissing.” He watched as Gabriel rocked backward on his heels and smirked up at him with a hum of affirmation. Suddenly it hit him. “What the fuck did you do?”

The sadistic little grin on Gabriel’s face was enough that Sam knew he’d figured it out. He let Gabe gloat happily for a moment before pointedly fixing the archangel with a quirked brow and as serious an expression as he could muster.

“I might have put a little whammy on your laptop so that anything we write will actually happen,” Gabe confessed looking much too pleased with himself.

“You made it reality?”

Nodding, Gabriel said, “Cool, right?”

Sam closed his eyes for a moment. “I’m going to need something stronger than this.”

He walked back to the library where they had a small liquor stash, Gabriel skipping along behind him. Sam dumped a hefty amount of bourbon into his coffee mug and practically gulped it down before joining Gabe at the table once more. The archangel had the laptop running and was pulling up the fan fiction page before Sam had even sat down. “Okie dokie,” Gabe chirped. “What should we write today?”

“Are you serious?”

“Deadly,” Gabe shot him a grin, but his eyes were narrowed enough that Sam knew the archangel would do what he wanted despite any objections.

“This seems sort of cruel,” Sam said, knowing that he had to at least voice his opinions before things got even more out of hand.

Gabriel sat back in his chair and regarded him. “Here’s how I see it, kiddo. You’ve spent years watching those two muttonheads dance around each other and eye fuck at all times. It’s been long enough. They need to put on their big kid panties and bone!”

Sam blinked slowly. “As gross as that image is for me,” he grumbled, “you’re not wrong.”

He was rewarded with a wink. “Let’s step it up then, shall we?”

After another fortifying gulp of his coffee, Sam looked Gabe dead in the eye and said, “Have them make out in the Impala. And they both should--at least--get a boner, before Dean acts like a baby and runs away.”

The archangel laughed loudly. “Done!”

It took much less time to craft their newest piece before Gabriel uploaded the story and the two of them crept off toward the garage. They tried to make as little noise as possible as they peeked into the spacious area. Dean was tinkering around with Baby, his hands covered in grease and his brow sweaty. Noiselessly, Gabriel snapped his fingers and the Impala’s radio turned on, blaring a pop ballad from the nineties.

“Son of a bitch!” Dean shouted.

He popped out from under the hood and slid into the driver’s seat, turning off the radio. As soon as he moved to leave the car, the radio came on once more. Next to Sam, Gabriel was snickering. Dean fought with the radio for a few more minutes with Gabe making the music more obnoxious each time before he shouted, “This is making my ears bleed!”

Without warning, Castiel appeared in the passenger seat next to him, his hands grasping the sides of Dean’s head gently. “Let me heal your ears, Dean.”

“No, Cas,” Dean started wiggling around, attempting to free himself. “It’s an expression.”

“You are uninjured?” Castiel looked concerned as his eyes roamed over Dean’s body, seemingly checking for blood. His hands were still cupping Dean’s face.

The radio changed to a soulful love song and Cas shifted, looking down toward Dean’s lap. Sam didn’t really want to think about what the angel might be seeing and turned away. “You’re going to miss it,” Gabe hissed, his lips brushing against Sam’s ear as he yanked the hunter back toward the scene.

Even from the slight distance, Sam could hear his brother’s choked voice saying, “Cas,” before their lips crashed together.

“Oh my god,” Sam whispered. He knew what Gabriel had told him, but a small part of him wondered if it would actually work.

It did.

Next to him, Gabe whooped softly and pumped his fist in the air. “Finally! Get some, Cassie!” They watched as Castiel pressed himself forward, pinning Dean to the seat with a grunt.

A loud moan cut through the garage, echoing off the walls and suddenly Sam really wanted to get out of there. Before he could move there was a scuffle and Dean shot out of the car. He was halfway across the garage before Sam even registered what was happening. There was a prominent tent in Dean’s pants and he looked furious as he stalked away from his two favorite things: his car and his angel.

Sam grabbed Gabe’s arm and pulled the smaller man flush to his chest, pressing his back into the wall in an attempt to avoid his brother. Dean flew past them, not even acknowledging that they were there. A few moments later, the slam of a door echoed through the Bunker and Sam was positive that his brother had hid in his bedroom. He glanced down at Gabriel and the two men shared a secret smile before they were startled by Castiel silently standing in front of them looking melancholy.

“That was odd,” the seraph said.

“What was odd, Cassie?” Gabe feigned innocence.

“Dean kissed me,” Cas told them, unaware that they had been spying.

“That’s great, bro,” Gabriel smiled, expertly coaxing the younger angel to open up to them. “Did you have fun?”

Castiel nodded seriously. “He became aroused.”

“Oh,” Sam wrinkled his nose and tried to stop listening. “No.”

“But when I went to touch his penile tissue, he ran away,” Cas looked upset and confused.

Gabriel was giggling again, and Sam could feel a little bile rising in his throat. “I’m sure he liked it, Cas,” Gabe said through his mirth.

“I hope so,” Castiel said. “I would enjoy touching his erection again, I think.”

“Okay,” Sam pushed off the wall and moved around Cas, heading down the hall. “I’ve gotta go.”

Behind him, he heard Gabriel telling Cas, “Everything will be okay.” Sam hurried through the halls, ending up in his own room and shutting himself in. He leaned against the closed door and knocked his head against the wood, his eyes closed. “That was hilarious!”

Sam opened his eyes to see Gabe sitting cross-legged on the bed, unwrapping a comically large candy bar. He snorted and moved to sit down next to the archangel. “I never want to hear about my brother’s ‘penile tissue’ ever again,” Sam said firmly.

“That was my favorite part,” Gabriel said through a mouthful of chocolate.

“I think I’m scarred for life,” Sam sighed.

“Nah, you’ll get over it,” Gabe snapped his fingers again and Sam’s laptop appeared on the bed in front of them. “Your turn, kiddo.”

For a moment, Sam considered protesting. He really didn’t want to write porn about his brother and his friend; but despite the mental trauma he had already experienced, he was actually relieved that the sexual tension was finally being dealt with. On top of that, Gabriel was smiling sweetly up at him, making Sam’s insides flutter. This silly little endeavor was bringing Gabriel back and Sam would be damned if he denied the archangel anything.

With a sigh, he pulled the computer into his lap and began to type. It was almost disturbing how easy the words flowed, but once Sam had a few sentences down, he couldn’t stop. He made the whole situation relatively tame, since he didn’t want to type the words ‘Dean’s dick,’ in any way, shape, or form. He just put down the bare bones, figuring that Gabriel could fill in specifics.

Once he’d finished and passed the computer over to Gabe with a warning not to get the keyboard sticky, he leaned back into his pillows and watched the archangel skim through the story, adding bits and pieces of his own. A few hours later, they posted and called it a day.

Dean was still shut up in his bedroom, but Cas was wandering around the library looking more or less upset. Gabriel chattered away at his brother until Cas agreed to sit down and watch a movie with them after dinner. Once Sam had eaten the Caesar salad which Gabe had snapped up for him, he headed back towards the rooms, determined to coax Dean out.

He got two half-hearted, “Fuck off’s” before Dean wrenched the door open and glared at him.

“You’re being an ass,” Sam pointed out. “Cas is moping around, and I just got Gabriel to start smiling again. I don’t need anything bringing him down.” He turned the puppy-eyes up to full blast. “Just come watch a movie with us. Please?”

He saw Dean deflate and knew that he’d won. “Fine,” his brother grumbled. “One movie. But I get to pick it,” Dean quickly tacked on the caveat.

“Great. Absolutely,” Sam agreed.

When they walked into the converted ‘television room’ to find both angels were already there. Cas was sitting stiffly on the farthest edge of the couch that Dean favored, while Gabriel was trying to stretch himself out on Sam’s usual seat. “If you don’t move, I’ll sit on you,” Sam threatened as he approached the smirking archangel.

“Sounds like fun,” Gabe wiggled his eyebrows. “You promise, kiddo?”

Sam’s whole face heated at the innuendo. Behind him, Dean muttered, “Gross,” as he sat down on the other sofa, as far away from Castiel as he could possibly get. It was still surprising when Gabriel made room for him, only to flop backward and rest his head in Sam’s lap once he was seated. Sam actually felt his heart stop for a few beats as he blinked dumbly at the warm archangel pillowed on his thighs. He could feel Dean’s glare for a full minute before his brother growled out for Gabe to put on ‘Empire Strikes Back.’

With a snap of his fingers, Gabriel obliged before conjuring up bowls of popcorn and a few containers of candies for each of them. Instead of Milk Duds or Junior Mints, Sam found himself with a large bowl of sliced apples, and he couldn’t help but smile at Gabriel’s thoughtfulness.

Despite the selection being Sam’s favorite of all the ‘Star Wars’ films, his attention wasn’t on the screen, so much as his brother. The first half hour, he spent shooting glances over at Dean and Castiel, who, while not looking at one another, had been slowly scooting closer on the couch. Sam ducked his head to hide his grin, and locked eyes with Gabriel who winked up at him. So far, this whole scenario was going almost letter perfect to what they had written that afternoon.

By the time that the Falcon had landed in Cloud City, Sam had begun to absently run his fingers through Gabriel’s incredibly soft, golden hair. The little angel wasn’t complaining though, and Sam craved the contact, so he refused to stop, even when he caught Dean glaring at them.

He knew that Dean was trying to distract himself, when his brother began a running commentary about the film. “Don’t get me wrong, Lando is awesome, and he totally redeems himself later--but he’s still an ass for betraying his best friend in the first place.”

“I would never betray you, Dean,” Cas spoke up. “I mean,” he stammered. “I know that I have in the past, but I would not do that again.”

“I know, Bab--Buddy,” Dean choked.

“I care more about you than any other being,” Cas continued. “If carbonite actually existed, I would be happy to encase myself within it to prove my undying affections.”

“Not exactly what we hoped for,” Gabe whispered up at Sam. “But to be fair, it’s Cassie. His love confession is going to suck no matter what.”

Sam was holding his breath and doing his best not to move. He was afraid that Dean would get spooked and take off running again. Castiel and Dean were staring at one another, no longer paying any attention to the movie; while he and Gabe were waiting excitedly to see what would happen next.

“I love you, Dean.”

His brother’s voice choked out, “I know, Cas.”

Sam’s mouth fell open as Gabriel wiggled in his lap to get a better view, hissing, “Oh, Hells yeah!”

Cas’ tightly coiled body relaxed minutely at Dean’s words, before he sprung. The seraph was on the hunter in seconds, kissing Dean sloppily, grabbing the collar of the elder Winchester’s flannel. There was no resistance from Dean as Cas kissed him, their moans drowning out the sound of the television. Castiel had pushed Dean into the cushions and was grinding on top of him. Sam could hear the breathy gasps of his brother and something snapped. He abruptly jumped to his feet, knocking Gabriel to the floor with a grunt.

“Shit! Sorry, Gabe!”

“No worries, kiddo,” Gabriel hauled himself to his feet and made a show of brushing off his pants before grinning at Sam. “We should go.”

Sam glanced over at the other sofa where Dean’s shirt was being removed and both men were entirely consumed with one another, paying no mind to their audience. Grimacing, Sam agreed. He didn’t want to watch the couch be defiled. Without a backward glance, he grabbed Gabe’s hand and yanked the angel along with him, shutting both of them in his bedroom.

“That was way more than I ever wanted to see, but fuck yeah!” Sam smiled at Gabriel, holding up his hand.

The archangel gave him a high-five and grinned lasciviously. “We did good, kiddo,” Gabe laughed.

“I really don’t want to risk seeing anything else, so I’m just going to go to bed,” Sam said.

“Mind if I stay?” Gabriel asked. For once he didn’t sound flirtatious, but rather a bit nervous.

“Um, no,” Sam’s breath hitched. “I mean yes. You should stay. No, I don’t mind. Yes, stay.”

“Are you okay, Samshine?” Gabe teased. “You seem twitchy.”

“I’m fine,” Sam lied.

Thankfully, he was already in comfortable clothes, so he wouldn’t have to change in front of the archangel. Sam crawled into bed and eyed the object of his affections as Gabriel hopped up next to him. He couldn’t help but lick his lips at the way Gabe was watching him. He heard the sharp intake of breath as Gabriel’s eyes dilated at the sight. “You know, they’re not the only ones who can have a little fun,” Gabe said quietly.

Everything screeched to a halt and Sam made an unconscious whine in his throat. Gabriel was sliding down next to him, their heads resting on the same pillow facing one another. “All you have to do is say the word,” the angel whispered.

Sam wanted. He wanted to say “Fuck yes,” and pull Gabe in for a searing kiss but all he could physically do was blink. He was caught in the intensity of those gorgeous amber eyes and he felt paralyzed. Gabriel didn’t seem to take offense to his silence, he just curved his lips into a soft smile, leaned forward and pressed his lips to Sam’s forehead with a smack. “Goodnight, kiddo.”

Gabriel turned away and clicked his fingers, bathing the room in darkness. Sam laid there for what felt like hours listening to Gabe’s soft snores and kicking himself for freezing up. Sleep was a long time coming, but when it did, he dreamt of those smirking lips tasting every inch of his body.

When Sam awoke, Gabe was still there. He was propped against the headboard and clicking away on the laptop with an evil little smile. Sleepily, he shuffled closer, nuzzling his face against Gabriel’s side. He could always claim that he was just sleep cuddling if Gabe tried to call him out. To Sam’s relief, the archangel hummed and looked down at him fondly, running his fingers through Sam’s hair with a little tug.

“‘Morning,” Sam mumbled into Gabriel’s shirt. Fuck, he smelled so good. Like vanilla; and something earthy that made Sam think of a silent, overgrown forest. “What are you doing?”

Gabe closed the laptop and set it on the bedside table. “Just writing up a new little fic for our bros,” he said. “I had the best idea while you were passed out.”

Blearily, Sam opened his eyes and looked up at his angel. “What was it?”

Gabriel shrugged and threw an arm around Sam’s shoulders, pulling the hunter closer. “You’ll see,” he said cryptically.

Sam burrowed into Gabriel once more with a contented groan. He sucked in a deep breath, trying to commit the archangel’s scent to memory. They stayed like that for a long time until Sam forced himself to get up to use the bathroom.

Once he returned though, his room was empty, so he changed into clean clothes and went looking for the others. He walked into the kitchen rubbing his eyes, not registering the sounds he was hearing. When he finally looked up, Sam was greeted to the sight of Castiel leaning against the counter, trench coat billowing around him as Dean kneeled before him, lips wrapped around the angel’s thick cock.

“Oh my God!” Sam screamed. “What the fuck?” Castiel gripped Dean’s hair, holding the hunter on his dick as Sam shouted, “This is a public area! We eat in here!”

“Leave, Sam,” Cas grunted. He rocked himself into Dean’s mouth and waved his hand absently.

Sam appeared in the library seconds later, pale and shaking, his eyes wide as he tried to forget what he had just witnessed. “Hey Sammoose,” Gabriel chirped from his usual seat, his feet casually thrown up on the table. “What’s up?”

“They’re,” Sam choked. “They’re in there. They’re,” he trailed off.

“Oh,” Gabe nodded sagely. “Blowies in the kitchen, yeah?”

He goggled at the archangel. “You knew?”

“Of course I knew,” Gabriel chuckled. “I told you that I wrote them a new fic.”

“Warn me next time,” Sam slumped into the chair next to Gabriel, shaking his head. “I am so disturbed right now. You’re such an asshole.”

Gabriel patted his shoulder in a mockery of comfort. “I know.” Somehow, Sam wasn’t the least bit surprised when Gabe snapped and the computer popped up in front of them once more. “You know what will make you feel better though? If we get some other people hooked up,” Gabriel smiled encouragingly.

“What?”

“There’s a whole fleet of ships for the Winchester Gospels,” Gabe laughed. “We could find love for Jody, or Donna, or--ooh!” Gabe winked. “Jody and Donna, am I right? They’d be cute together.”

Sam was horrified at the sight of his brother going down on Cas, but Gabriel was right--they had been having fun. And there were so many other people that Sam counted as family and friends who deserved a little happiness--or at least a roll in the hay. “Okay,” he sighed, giving in. “Let’s see who else we could set up, I guess.”

Gabe whooped happily and rubbed his palms together. He spun the laptop toward Sam and crowed, “Find me some lovebirds, Sammy!”

Resignedly, Sam began to scroll around on the fan fic page, looking at some of the different pairings that had been written about. It seemed as though most of the couples all had some sort of catchy name, just like Dean and Cas being referred to as ‘Destiel.’

He was about to click to a new page, when one of the words caught his attention. Sam wasn’t sure what drew him to it, but he cocked his head and stared at the word for a moment. “Hey Gabe,” he said curiously. “What’s ‘Sabriel?’”

The archangel’s eyes lit up with glee as he said, “I dunno, kiddo.” Gabriel smirked at him and waggled his eyebrows. “Wanna find out?”

**Author's Note:**

> 🍭I am on Tumblr as crowley-loves-usuk if anyone feels the urge to follow or message me. I love talking to readers! 🍭


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